Time

Time is such a fleeting thing.  Now I know I’m getting old.  Today is my daughter’s 42d birthday.  When my dad was passing away I asked him if he ever thought he would have four boys in their 40’s.  His response was, “I never thought I’d make it to 40 myself.”  When I was young I used to think I would be 50 in the year 2000.  I wasn’t even sure how to say two thousand because the common way to say the year was “19” and then the year following.  Would we say “20” oh one, or 20 oh two or would it be two thousand and one, etc.  But, the year 2000 seemed so far away and here it is already 2013.

In 1999 people thought the world would come to an end in 2000.  Remember that?  Remember New Year’s Eve of 1999 when everyone was afraid a world war would break out because all the computers would go crazy?  Well, as we know nothing like that happened and the same with December 21^st of 2012.  The Aztec calendar was ending so there was the fear of the world coming to an end.  What followed was a beautiful day and here we are, we’re all still here.   Well, most of us anyway.

My recent columns have been my paying respects for friends who have recently passed away.  Seeing friends and loved ones pass away around my age is a bit unnerving.  I see the baby boomers out there with their graying and thinning hair.  They for the most part are staying in shape far more so than our parent’s generation ever even thought about, but you see the lines in their faces.  Heck I see them every morning when I’m brushing my teeth.  Time stops for no one so we may as well make the best of it.  I mentioned in my last column that I am writing a book.  It’s basically done and now I’m trying to figure out the best way to get it published and am learning that there are a lot of “publishers” out there that are willing to fleece you for all they can get because they know they are dealing with an author’s ego.  The author surely wants his or her book published so I can see how someone can go a little nuts and overboard just to get a book cover around their words.

Nevertheless, I am writing a spiritual book.  Because my daughter can channel the other side I have learned a lot about who we are and what this wonderful life is all about.  I’ve learned that time is a moving object here on earth but not so in heaven.  There is no time there so eternity is just a word.  We live in this little speck of time and the time we are given is a gift.  It is a gift that we stood in line for on the other side.  We are spirit and we planned our lives before becoming human.  We set out our plan, in conjunction with powers much greater than ourselves, to accomplish goals in this life.  Unfortunately we came to earth with amnesia.  We don’t remember that we are spirit.  Many think this is just all there is and that when this life is over we go in a box and that’s the end of the experiment.  That thought is so far from reality that I can’t even give it credence.

We were born into this time to do good.  We came to learn to love our neighbor as yourself and to eventually learn to find the light of God that lives inside each of us.  We have angels that surround us and try to keep us on our path while we are like little kindergarteners using our mind and egos to make some really goofy decisions, decisions that are not always in our soul’s best interest.  Nonetheless, we stumble through this life trying to figure out what it is all about. What I can tell you so far about what life is about is Love.  Not the kind of love we thought was cool in the 60’s and 70’s when it meant “love the one you’re with” (Crosby, Stills & Nash).  Love means recognizing the light that lives in every person but having the wisdom to turn away from those who may want to bring you harm, those that haven’t found the light within and would prefer to take advantage of your passivity and good graces.

Yes, time continues to march on and Spring is just around the corner.  Spring is always a time of rebirth.  We are given but one day.  Not a single one of us knows when our last day will come.  So with this beautiful earth all around us and all the wonderful people in your life, tell them you love them and go out and play today like it is your last day and do it in peace and love.

Writing a Book

I’m sure some of you out there have made the bold attempt to write a book.  It seems like everyone I meet wants to write a book.  Then I walk into the Dollar Store and see all these books for $1 and I feel so bad for all the authors.

I think we all feel like our lives could be a story someone else would want to read about.  Even in fiction you know that one of the characters in the novel is the author.  Life is just so chocked full of stuff in our lives.  Go to a party some time.  What you are hearing are stories.  There are lots of good ones.  But I’m digressing. 

So, I’m trying to write a book with my daughter.  She’s a spiritual intuitive.  The first draft resembled War and Peace.  I feel so bad too for my close friends willing to look at it.  Actually, I’m still waiting to hear back from them again.  Just kidding, I heard from one.  So, I’ll run with that advice and now it’s going to be one of those little pocket books that can be read on a short airline flight or drive to Los Angeles.  It’s fun attempting to do it.  I’ll bet most all of you out there could actually write a book if you wanted to.  You just start out with an outline.  After that it should all just flow.  Even if no one read it but your family, well, that book will be around for a long time in your family and maybe a great grandchild will one day try to publish it.  Wouldn’t that be great?  My pastor Rick Myatt brought up a point in last week’s sermon.  He was trying to explain how important each day is.  He asked if anyone ever heard of Uta Hagen. She’s usually a question in a crossword puzzle.  She was the most famous actress in the world in the 1890’s.  Point is, by the great grandchild, no one will know who you are.  Point is, live this life to its fullest and move on.

Bob Richards is a friend and a co-real estate broker from La Costa who has primarily retired into writing now.  He’s living his baby boomer dream.  He planned wisely to live doing what he loves and that is writing.  He too simplified his life so that his life became quality time.    Bob can wander into the past for stories and immerse himself in another world with peace.  Then the grandkids come running in and he pops back into reality for a while.  See, to me, that’s life.  Being at peace and doing what you want to do and having loved ones near.

The recession really kicked my rear end.  I was inside the bubble that burst.  I really didn’t think I’d ever see the day that I could retire or semi-retire.  I thought that if I did it would be under a bridge somewhere or high up in a mountain with critters.  But, I was 60 and said to myself, get debt free in two years.  It was a reasonable goal and I set out on a path to not only do that but to also buy a great place in Mexico on the water.  It wasn’t that hard once you put your mind to it.  You have to be positive though, even when you hit some speed bumps.

It’s a new Chinese New Year.  It’s the year of the Snake.  Snake people are great.  My daughter is one.  They seem to be the prettiest sign in the bunch so maybe this will be a very pretty year.  Who knows?  I’m an ox.  Go figure, but it fits, darn it.  Obama is an ox.  So were Hitler, Hussein and Stalin.  And I want to write a book about spirituality? Really?  Por supuesto que si! 

My friend Patty Clark is determined to be a writer.  She joined one of those writer blogs on the internet and she got picked up by a paper in Kansas City of all places.  Hats off to Patty!!  Patty didn’t give up hope either and she’s simplified her life too.  It’s a new year.  You can keep kicking it at work if that’s what brings you peace, but if it’s on a beach, mountainside, ship or cycling through France that is lingering in your head, find a way to do it and be a writer or a painter or a cabinet maker.  Just do it, you don’t know when God is going to give you the last day so live it in peace(with a little love from family too).

Dreams

Dreams. We all have them. I'm not just talking about the kind we have at night when we are asleep. I'm talking about the kind of dreams that are goals or wishes. Sometimes they are attainable and sometimes they are just unrealistic. Those that are unrealistic are the ones that include winning the lottery or hitting the Pick Six at Del Mar. I say unrealistic because those are not the kinds of dreams that are attainable by our own sweat and ingenuity. If those are your dreams you'll die broke and unhappy.

I remember as far back as the mid 60's when I would sit on the beach in Pacific Beach or La Jolla Shores. My mom would drop me off for the day so I was stuck; After an initial lengthy session of surfing I would sit there under gray skies in July shivering. I hated that. I still do. I dreamed of perfect shoulder high waves in turquoise 80 degree water with no fog and no gray skies. I had to believe that someday I would find such a place. A place with blue skies everyday. A place with Turquoise 80 degree water with perfect tubes.

I have now traveled many places in the world and thought that Bali might be the place. But, it is so far away. I knew, even if I moved I would want to be able to come back and forth to the United States. I just didn't want to have to take 20 hours of flying to do iL When I was in the Army at Fort Hood in the 70's a buddy from Oregon and I would throw our boards on his Gremlin after retreat was blown on Friday afternoons. The weekend was spent driving the 6 or 7 houru down to the Gulf Coast past Corpus Christi. Although the water was semi turquoise and semi warm (in fact sometimes it was downright bathtubish, the waves would only come with storms or a choppy wind swell late in the day. At night, sleeping on the beach you had to have plenty of Off Spray. The mosquitoes were big enough to earn names. Hey George, off me already. You'd smack 'em and you'd have big blood splotches all over you. Those little blood suckers always had full tanks. I knew it wasn't my dream to end up on the Gulf Coast.

I took many trips to Baja in the 70's while in College. One of my favorite surf spots was K38.5 and K39. Cuatros Casas was another. Unfortunately big condos sit in front of two of those breaks today. Nonetheless, the water was no different than San Diego. Gray and cold. Yuh. I hate wetsuits. I hate wiggling in and out of those things, Nothing worse than getting caught inside on a big set with your shoulders feeling like they have vice grips on them trying to dig hard enough to beat the last set wave. I dreamed of never having to wear one again. In the early 20's my ex and I had some friends that built a home down at Bahia de los Angeles in Baja on the Sea of Cortez- What a quaint and quiet place to go. The water is warm' the islands off shore are Mediterranean like. But there aren't any waves. I would sit on the shore trying to figure out how I could generate some wave.s. Perfect waves. Wasn't going to happen. Nice peaceful place, but it wasn't going to work That wasn't going to be the dream.

In 2005, after several trips to Puerto Vallarta I finally decided that was going to be the place that was fulfilling my dreams. I was ready to retire. It was a perfect time to do it but my wife didn't want to. She wanted to wait a few years. Only problem is she ran off with a guy she met on an airplane less than six months later. Even worse, the economy began to tank big time. Being in real estate and heavily invested in land my net worth began to vaporize like steam from boiling pot. Dreams became just that. Dreams. I had no hope of finding my perfect retirement anymore. I was so bummed and stressed I was at the point of just saying Lord, take me home. This life sucks. Everything I'd worked and saved for had vanished into thin air. And' I was stuck with what I described earlier as Golden Handcuffs. Big assets that were no longer tssets but definitely cash drains. Life was getting really tough and hopes in themselves were now dreams.

But, earlier this year I went back to Puerto Vallarta. I took a bus, after going to a Calvary Chapel Church in PV, to tiny little Punta de Mita. I walked through a breezeway after getting off the bus only to witness head high perfect Malibu rights. The water was E2 degrees, the water was turquoise, the sky was a high blue and the wispy breeze was enough to cool the sweat from an 88 degree day. I knew I found Heaven...I found my dream. Over the next months I was reinvigorated. I was filled with hope again. Not only that,I found a way to buy a beach front condo for a few trinkets and beads. Life doesn't suck anymore. Dreams have become reality. I live there now part time. I've actually figured out how to live there nearly f;or free. So, stay tuned, You might just learn how to turn dreams into reality, even if you've lost it all.